Day 1
Now I've been doing live streaming for over two years now, but what you might not know is every time before I go live, there's like a wild storm going on in my head. There's like an earthquake going on in my stomach.
Things that are swarming around my mind are “Have I got the lighting, right? What about my clothes – are they suitable? What about my background? Maybe I will do a background and it won’t be consistent every day? What will that look like? Unprofessional? What am I actually going to talk about? You know, even if I've kind of prepared it in advance, isn't the right thing? Do I even know what I am talking about? How long is it going to be? Is it going to be too long, going to be too short? And it continues on…what location should I film in? In the studio? Maybe better outside? But outside I will be using my phone – what will that look like? Oh, and what microphone am I going to use? And I've got tons of microphones! What camera am I going to use? Yes, you guessed it – I have tons of those too. So, I've got all this going on in my head and I'm thinking, right. Okay, I'll do it this way. I'll do it that way. But maybe better if I do it this way. And then ultimately, phew! - I get all that set up.
And I'm ready to go.
I've planned what I want to say. Everything is ready.
And then I'm like, wait a minute… Am I going to be disturbed by WhatsApp? My phone? The door bell? I put everything off because ultimately there's going to be all sorts of disturbances.
And now everything's ready to go.
Boom.
Amazon comes to the door. Can you believe it? I think he is going to bash down the door! So, I rush to Amazon. Politely receive the parcel and then I have to get back into the state again.
Everything's ready, again! Okay. I'm ready to go.
And then it happens – the anxiety, the THING that is hard to explain. I mean, it's there, right?
So, I'm ready to go. I've got my hand on the button to go live and I just cannot press it. Its like I paralysed or frozen with fear!
I just cannot press. So even though I've been giving lives for two years and I've been interviewing people from all over the world. And I really feel comfortable once I get started it just hits me every time before I get going.
So I've decided to give myself a 12 week challenge where I'm going to come on live every single day and give you some value content that I've picked from my personal library of books.
I will add into the mix my own education and experience from over the years and hopefully can combine them and give over to you some sort of wisdom.
The book that I've picked for today is called Mind and Emotions: A Universal Treatment for Emotional Disorders (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
by Matthew McKay Patrick Fanning and a good friend of mine, Patricia E. Zurita Uno, otherwise known as Dr. Z.
And I think it is pretty obvious why I've picked that book!
In chapter four, the book explains about values and how they are your chosen directions in life. They are what you want your life to be about. Your values, give your life meaning vitality, power, inspiration, and motivation. They help activate you to break out of life restricting patterns caused by anxiety and shame. It's a wonderful chapter as is the whole book.
I've realized over time that I'm full of anxiety and shame when it comes to expressing myself in public. It doesn't really matter where it comes from, but I remember the first time that I had this extreme anxiety and shame in public places.
I can talk in front of as many people as you want to put me in front of, but it doesn't take that anxiety and shame away!
When I was about eight or nine years old, I entered in for a talent competition. And in that talent competition, I was to sing in front of an audience. I'd rehearsed and rehearsed it, and everything was really good.
I get up on stage, the band begins to play. I start the first couple of words and then. Nothing's there!
The compare comes up and says, “don't worry a little boy everything will be fine. We'll start again. And you just relax. Take it easy”
The band starts up again and I sing out the first line again and boom, nothing!
And so I was asked to sit down and of course I felt totally awful and full of shame. And whenever I need to get up in front of people I get this feeling and full of thoughts that I'm going to forget everything that I'm meant to say.
Why am I doing this challenge? The reason is because I want to give over value to help others. This is in the service of my value of contributing to those other than myself.
I have learned from the book to verbalise my values and make a plan like this:
In the service of my value of contributing to others and of helping others
I am willing to feel awkward and nervous and to be uncomfortable
So that I can make my content online and reach as many people as I can
And my 3 steps:
1. I will pick out nuggets of value from my personal library of books
2. I will make a live stream every day on the basis of a Minimum Viable Product – so perfectionism out the window!
3. I will repurpose the transcripts and voice tracks.
So what did I do today?
1. I identified my values,
2. understood what the purpose and meaning is and verbalised it by writing it down.
3. and what I'm going to do in the service of these values.
4. And then I came up with a three-step plan,
5. and executed it.
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